But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
