good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
