What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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