my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
