The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
