could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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