sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
