But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
