carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize