Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i drank out of a bidet.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
