i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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