his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
