She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
