are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize