It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
