That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
