it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
