i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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