TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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