how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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