Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
