the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
