Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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