so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
