This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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