Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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