Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
