dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
