went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize