OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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