what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
only you would photoshop your dick
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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