i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
