who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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