It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
