I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
