Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
