yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
