wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
