im gay
i know
yea but for you.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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