I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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