he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Pooping to opera.
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