I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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