oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
