Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
