..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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