Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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