My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
