We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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