ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
