Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
