I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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