I bet he comes in French.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
