I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
