you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
