So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
