He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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