You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
