She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
