ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Screwed.edu
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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