we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
